ARTICLE REGARDING ABUSE RECEIVED VIA THIS BLOG

COMMENT from MORGAN ST. JAMES: The following article was received via the contact form on this blog. It presents the view of many abused children becoming abusers themselves and I am sure has some basis in case studies. 

It serves to explain why some abuse victims become abusers, and I do agree that the crime of abuse is still widely ignored. Unfortunately, to this day those who observe signs of abuse frequently fail to report anything. As an example, during Cheryl's hearing, at least 20 people acknowledged that they had reason to suspect abuse, but no one came forward to help her.

While becoming an abuser because of their own abuse may be true in some cases, it definitely is not in all cases. Cheryl Cuccio is a perfect example of the opposite. Her mission in life is to help victims and promote awareness and prevention of abuse. This is also true for 3 other abuse victims whose memoirs I helped write, and many victims who read these books write to Cheryl and Bella Capo with their stories. Most have also expressed the same desires--to help others and promote awareness and prevention. 

In my opinion, one should look at all sides of an issue before accepting information that applies to only one portion of it as a conclusion. I wish this article would have also addressed the caring about others and determination to help prevent abuse that frequently is found in abuse victims--in other words, present both sides of the coin instead of a singular view. 

One more thing must be added. Various media stories claim that Sean Pica knew of Cheryl's abuse and ongoing rape by her father when he agreed to kill him. That is not true according to Cheryl and Rob both. The only person who knew about it was Rob, and it took her a very long time to admit it to him.

This is the article for which a link was provided on the contact form:

 Child Mistreatment, Child Abuse

What is it?

Humiliations, spankings and beatings, slaps in the face, betrayal, sexual exploitation, derision, neglect, etc. are all forms of mistreatment, because they injure the integrity and dignity of a child, even if their consequences are not visible right away. However, as adults, most abused children will suffer, and let others suffer, from these injuries. This dynamic of violence can deform some victims into hangmen who take revenge even on whole nations and become willing executors to dictators as unutterably appalling as Hitler and other cruel leaders. Beaten children very early on assimilate the violence they endured, which they may glorify and apply later as parents, in believing that they deserved the punishment and were beaten out of love. They don’t know that the only reason for the punishments they have ( or in retrospect, had) to endure is the fact that their parents themselves endured and learned violence without being able to question it. Later, the adults, once abused children, beat their own children and often feel grateful to their parents who mistreated them when they were small and defenseless.

This is why society’s ignorance remains so immovable and parents continue to produce severe pain and destructivity – in all “good will”, in every generation. Most people tolerate this blindly because the origins of human violence in childhood have been and are still being ignored worldwide. Almost all small children are smacked during the first three years of life when they begin to walk and to touch objects which may not be touched. This happens at exactly the time when the human brain builds up its structure and should thus learn kindness, truthfulness, and love but never, never cruelty and lies. Fortunately, there are many mistreated children who find “helping witnesses” and can feel loved by them.